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“Our house was no palace, that’s for sure. Even homeless people would bring their kids by so they could appreciate what they didn’t have.”
“Food was hard to come by for lunches. We were so poor we were paying for our government cheese on installments.”
“I really didn’t understand subtraction until I got my first report card.”
“Even cannibals find me hard to digest.”
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“I cannot stress enough, when you are preparing for your dead Democrat river float, you must check and recheck the ability of your dead Democrat to hold air, sometimes under extreme shocks. If you discover any leaks in the dead Democrat, have them plugged immediately, by a professional. A dead Democrat failure could cost you your life.”
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“We’re not sure,” the Abracadrabra replied. “General Kessler, the Air Force manager there might have slipped up. Dr. Greenbaum might have figured the real reason behind Snow Den and the H.E.R.P.E. I guess he didn’t want to kill a few million people. It happens.”
“I told you,” Governor Lambert announced. “Now we’re going to see Northwest property prices shoot sky high. An endorsement from the head of Goldman Weintraub is like money in the bank.”
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“If the Freemasons had funny handshakes, convened in private houses, seemed a little secretive and were rumored to be remnants of the outlawed Templars, what did the landlord or local priest or cardinal care as long as they finished their projects before the local ruffians or the Pope’s representatives showed up?”
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“Maybe it was the futility of it all, but for some reason, the idea of a group of out of shape people like us trying to escape from a sandstorm struck me as amusing.”
“And your wife?” he asked…I knew surest and quickest way to ensure the wrath of the Saudi Security Forces was to insult them by inferring they were stupid enough to believe such a lie…
“She’s not my wife. She’s my friend,” I said…
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“Having arrived in Sur at the daybreak, I was able to see a little bit of the town where I had agreed to spend the next two years teaching English.”
“In the words of Patrick Henry I, “smelled a rat.” The Bush Administration was busy rewarding those who had been asleep at the wheel unlimited budgets in the new, “Fortress America” while at the same time they were stripping the American People of their Constitutional Rights, not to mention our children and their children’s money.”
“The class with the Mohammeds, I answered. It is a curious thing, I pondered, that is a country where every fourth person was named Mohammed, anyone would have any idea which class I was referring to.”
